Tales From the Crib: Month 22

22 months

Gooooing to the chapel and I’m goooona get mar-ar-ar-ied…

That’s right! It was super wedding month!  This past weekend, I got married. I walked down the aisle and everything.

matty wedding


Not sure why Uncle Moose is in the picture with Aunt Amy, but I think we can all agree that everyone came to see me.  Though, I’m still waiting on all those shiny presents to be delivered to my house. Weird.

Friday was the Rehearsal, or as I like to call it, Run-Around-the-Church-Eating-Snacks time.

matty rehearsal

Then we went to fancy restaurant, and I got a fancy pizza and ate fancy bread, and dressed all fancy, too.  We didn’t get done until like 9:00. We stayed in a hotel, where I got my very own Big Bed! By the time we checked in, I was very tired, jumped in the bed, pulled up the blanket, and went right to sleep all by myself.  Yes, yes, I know–I’m amazing.

The next day was WEDDING DAY!  Finally, the day I’ve been waiting for my whole life all week (I asked Mommy every morning if was time to go to Grandma’s and go to church with Amy).  Mommy and Daddy and me were all in the wedding, so it was a bit chaotic getting everyone ready and to the church. But all went swimmingly.  Mommy and Daddy got to ride in the Limo (pretty much the coolest car I’ve ever seen), and I got to ride in Grandpa’s car (the second coolest car I’ve ever seen).  After pictures in the park (seriously, can weddings get any better?!), it was time to walk down the aisle…

“I pee pee potty!”  Mwahaha.  Leave it to me to have perfect timing.  Mommy told me to just go in my diaper (I thought she threw all of those away, but apparently I was mistaken), and I’m pretty sure she caused years of irreparable damage. Then I got to sit with Aunt Nancy.  She’s warm and snuggly and fun and has cookies shaped like little animals hidden in her purse–I mean, where has this woman been my whole life?!  Together, we made it through the entire wedding (a 7:00 pm Catholic wedding), and it was on to the reception!

I danced the night away. No seriously.  We stayed until midnight.  If anyone has pictures, please send them.  I was so cake-drunk I don’t remember what went down.  So ladies, if I offended you in any way or tried to hit you up for a quick drink of milk, I apologize.

Of course, I was up bright and early at 6:30 the next morning ready for the day.  Mommy and Daddy look like the cast of The Walking Dead. I know that wasn’t juice in your cup, Mom. You brought it on yourself.

Of course, not everything revolved around the wedding this month.  It also revolved around rain. And cupcakes (which are wedding related, so…). And words. Vocabulary explosion!

Favorite Words and Phrases

  • More cupcake? (Thank you bridal showers!)
  • NO! (Even when I mean “yes”)
  • Whatchoo gots?
  • Ooooh, what’s Mommy GOTS?!
  • Oh, no!
  • Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy or just your basic Hi…for no reason…
  • Come on, Dada! Racecars. Vroom!
  • Mommy, come on!
  • Let’s go, Mommy.
  • Kitty eat! Kitty eeeeeeeat!
  • No, drive car! (I like to yell this when we pull in the driveway to come home.)
  • Wake up, Mommy. Eat bredfast.
  • Uh, huh, I do.
  • Oh, no. Poop poop!
  • Pay Kinel? (Play Kindle.  I’m a touch-screen genius). And the follow up, more games!
  • Oh, no! Neighmor’s car?! (Our neighbor leaves a lot and I like to keep track of his whereabouts out the window.)
  • Counting to 10 in English and Spanish.  Yep, finally got it down. Well, sometimes “yellow” still makes it in there…

As you can see, I’m very excited and a bit dramatic.  I get the best of both parents–I’ll let you decide which is which. There’s actually not much I don’t say.  I’ve mastered plurals (two apples?), and possessives (Mommy’s car!).

Monthly Photo Round- Up

I caught my first fish…then screamed “no!!!! fish in drink” All water is called drink. Did you not know this?

There was lots of “pay dibble dibble dopp” (play in the rain). Have you not read Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?

The good news is that I’m no longer afraid of my rain boots.

Mommy has also decided it’s time for me and Daddy to spend more quality time together.  So we lift weights.  Well, Daddy lifts weights, I lift canned goods.

Please ignore my beer milk gut. I’m working on it.

Tales From the Crib: Month 21

21 months

Uno, dos, tres, cah-tro, seis, siete, oh-no, nueve, dies!

That’s right  folks, I can count in Spanish. My Aunt Amy taught me that, or at least that’s what I tell Mommy.  Can you please verify my statements, Aunt Amy?

Oh, and you want to hear my English counting?

Two, two, tree, sex, eighteen, five, nine, ten, twelve, twenty! Mommy taught me that.  Perhaps we should have a conversation about who’s the better teacher?

I’m quite the playground sensation.

I also know some letters:

A (for Amy)
B (for ball)
C (cat)
D (Daddy!)
G (Grandpa)
M (Mommy)
P (for poop)
S (for snake)

You know, all the important letters.  Last night, Daddy even tried to sneak one past me and spell “ice cream”, and I yelled “CREAM”!  Not that I really knew all the letters, I just know that when Daddy starts spelling stuff, it usually involves an ice cream stop.

Speaking of Daddy, Mommy made the mistake of sending him out for more bubbles.  Daddy bought this instead.

Of course, Daddy doesn’t understand the delicate mindset of a toddler.  Oh sure, the “bub shene” is fun, but it will not curtail my endless requests for “bwow bub”.  A machine cannot replace human interaction, Dad.

Grandpa understands this.  Grandpa gets me.

So sorry to bore you with our little park adventure, Dad.

But, um, someone needs to tell Grandpa “we don’t throw rocks.”  He’s trying to get me in trouble.

Ummm…P.S. I suffered through another haircut.  It was very traumatic this time.  Especially since I flailed and cried so much it didn’t get done.  Mommy calls it the crooked-Frankenstein look.  I’m in desperate need of a stylist if anyone has a recommendation.  All I can say? Don’t mention haircut, hair, cut, or scissors in my presence.  It will result in teardrops.

Tales From the Crib: Month 20


20? 20?! I’m in the “2’s”, which means my birthday must not be too far away, right? Can someone please ensure that there’s real cake this year? Preferably of the chocolate variety.

I’ve been working really hard this month.

First, I had to teach Daddy how to mow the grass.

Then I had to help Mommy get ready for the garage sale.

Then I had to teach Daddy how to measure TWICE, cut ONCE.

Then I  taught Mommy how to put makeup on.

And finally, I had to teach Daddy how to drive.  About time someone did that.

Thankfully, he learned quick. Fast like racecar, Dad. Fast. Like. Racecar.

Things I Like:

  • Going to “Wowes” to get “toos” and “tune tunes” (go to Lowe’s to get tools and petunias)
  • Getting gas in the car
  • “Rrrrow Rrrrow”. (Row, Row, Row Your Boat)
  • Pushing the “beeton” (garage door opener) when we leave or come home
  • “ahhhce” (ice)
  • Getting naked. The living room, Grandma’s, the front yard, the store…makes no difference to my happy, naked tushy.
  • Talking. About everything and about nothing. Quite philosophical, no?  Before bedtime, I like to take a few (or 20) minutes to give a recap of my day.
  • Going potty. But only on Tuesday, Thursdays, and every other Friday.  Sometimes I go on Monday nights, just to spice things up a bit.  I like when Daddy takes me potty. Let’s just say chaos ensues and Mommy gets called in for reinforcement.
  • KIDS!  Sometimes the older kids in the neighborhood come to play with me.  They don’t stay long.  Apparently I’m not good company.  Don’t worry, I chase them down the street, much to Mommy’s exasperation.
  • Blocks! I did it all by myself.  Then I went to get Mommy to show her, and she accidentally slipped on the rug and they all fell down and I cried.  I was saving them for Daddy to see. ;(

I’m also very happy to finally get outside and meet my dear old friend, Mr. Hose.  Unfortunately, there’s been a Great Fence-In Project of 2013 which has kept me gated to my own abode.  Escape plans in progress, stay tuned…

P.S. Looking at this post, you would assume I spend all day with Daddy, and not Mommy.  So what do Mommy and I do all day?

This. We do this.

Tales From the Crib: Month 19

month 19

Puke & Poop. Poop & Puke. That about sums up my month.  See you next month! Laters, baby.

Just kidding! April Fools! Did I get you? Don’t worry, I have lots more to share.  It’s true most of my month was about puke and poop though.

I got sicky.  Like super puke sicky. At Grandma’s.  I was going to stay there all night while Mommy and Daddy shampooed the carpets and did “house stuff”.  And juuuuust when they got done, I threw up on Grandma.  So Mommy and Daddy came back to get me.

So obviously I threw up all over the carpets (you saw that coming, right?). And my carseat. And Mommy.  Daddy was worthless help.  Mommy asked for a towel, and Daddy stood up, stretched, took a drink of coffee, and meandered to get a towel, then came back with a shirt asking “will this work?”  I thought he might die in that moment. He did take care of the car puke, though, so I think he got some super-daddy points back.

Then of course Mommy got sicky.  She puked. Fever. Chills. There was no milk for like 24 hours.  I’m traumatized (and back to nursing 12 times/day, yay!).  Mommies aren’t supposed to be weak.  She couldn’t even cook me breakfast.  So Daddy, being the big help that he is, called in reinforcements.  Grandma & Grandpa!  That’s right, Daddy went to work and I sat on the floor eating stale goldfish crackers from under the couch for three hours while I waited for Grandma.  (I’m surprised Daddy is still alive).  So Grandma picked me up, and I got to spend the next day with Aunt Amy.  We took her doggy to the doctor. It was so fun.

Then Mommy picked me up the next day.  We’re up to 800 miles in 4 days, people.  I think we need to move.  Do you hear me Daddy’s Work Boss? Moooooove.

Oh, and did I mention my sickness came down Easter weekend?

Fear not, the Easter Bunny fears no puke and came anyway.

Easter morning

easter morning 2

So we’ve covered the puke.  Where’s the poop come in, you may be asking.

That’s right. I’m potty trained. Well. I was. For like a whole week (that’s like years in toddler time, btw).  Until the whole sickness thing went down.  Now, I’m not going anywhere near that room.  There’s Mommy-puke in there.  Apparently, I’m not allowed to wear my “Daddy pants” if I don’t go in the potty, so we’re at quite the impasse.  I fear Mommy may win this battle.

Anywho. On to the fun stuff. Did you know my Aunt Amy is getting married? She is.  I get to be in the wedding.  I think it’s going to be much like this.

There was a bridal shower for her.  I wasn’t supposed to go, but surprise surprise, I wasn’t feeling well, so I got to stay with Mommy.  We were only going to stop by for an hour, but we stayed for 4 hours! I totally know how to party likes it’s 1999.


You want to know what else is fun?  The big bed!

That’s right ladies and gents, I have found my way back to the big bed.  Marathon nursing and the big bed…ahhhh, it feels good to reclaim some of my youth.  And this folks, is a battle Mommy isn’t going to win.

The Score

Mommy: 1
Matty: 1
Daddy: just happy to have not been killed during The Great Sickness of 2013

Tales From the Crib: Week 10

What a great week!  Mommy read everything she could, then took Daddy’s approach to life to just throw money at the problem, and has really calmed my reflux down.  She didn’t even have to use the Zantac.  She’s on a strict diet that includes no milk proteins, red meat, soy, corn, or wheat. Getting the allergies out of my system will help my whole tummy feel better.  I also never get put on my back—always at a 30 degree incline.  Mommy had to buy me a special wedge chair to play and sleep in, a new bathtub that is inclined, and she also inclined my changing table.  She also gives me an herbal tea twice a day made out of Slippery Elm Bark.  No, she doesn’t think this is any weirder than putting a 10 week old on Zantac and thickening my bottles with rice cereal (hello, extra calories that definitely aren’t needed!) I’m still spitting up and choking on it, but I haven’t projectile vomited all week and I’ve only outwardly spit up once or twice a day. I’ve had lots of coos and even a giggle!  Baby steps (no pun intended!)

(Watching football in my overpriced piece of foam.  Now I just need a beer rootbeer and some hotwings and I’ll be a real man.)

On Tuesday, I slept through the night, and on Wednesday, I did, too!  This means I was “extra-chippery” as Daddy says, and helped Mommy bake a gluten free, dairy free, soy free pumpkin pie and homemade “whipped cream” out of coconut milk for Thanksgiving!

On Thanksgiving, we had to get up extra early to go visit everyone.  First stop was Aunt Mary’s house to see Mimi and Papaw, and meet Uncle Brian and Ty, Aunt Kristin and Bailey, Michael, and Jacob.  I was so excited to meet everyone and can’t wait until I’m big enough to play with my cousins.

(Excuse the horrible picture.  The batteries on Mommy’s camera were dying…)

Then we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and I got to see Great Grandma and Grandpa Thome and Aunt Amy and Uncle David.  Daddy and I watched football while Mommy took a two and a half hour nap!  We stayed all night there and I slept good, too!

We came home on Friday and SURPRISE—went to look at a new house!  It doesn’t look like we’re going  to be able to move to Cincinnati soon, so Mommy “convinced” Daddy that we have to get out of this horrible apartment.  Sadly, that house went under contract as we were looking at it. Boo!!!

Over the weekend, we went grocery shopping and just hung out at home. I still did a much better job sleeping. Aunt Kristin brought me a Jumperroo to borrow.  Mommy was worried I wasn’t big enough yet, but I hold my head up just fine thank-you-very-much!  I played with it all night!   It was a nice, relaxing weekend and we all feel recharged now.

(What is this crazy thing?)

(Maybe I’ll really slowly touch this thing-a-ma-jig.)

(Maybe it tastes good?)

(I can’t touch the ground yet!)

(I’m all bounced out.)

Tales From the Crib: Week 9

Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux. Acid Reflux.

I’m miserable.  That’s really all you need to know.

I did go to the doctor this week, and the doctor said my throat is really inflamed and red from the reflux.  She wanted to put me on Zantac.  Mommy and Daddy are going to try a few other things first, though.  They are working to become baby acid reflux experts.  I’m sure they’ll succeed.  Oh, and of course, I’m getting huuuge.  Almost 16 lbs. and almost 25″.  Just keepin’ it real. See you next week, peeps.

Tales From the Crib: Week

Yes, yes.   My update is late again this week (reaaallly late).  Daddy has worked until 9pm all week and I’ve been super-sicky so no one has been able to help me on the computer.  All of my previous symptoms have compounded into a severe case of acid reflux, which has me in bad pain.  It didn’t get bad until Friday night when I was visiting Grandma and Grandpa.  Mommy slept on the couch with me and I slept through the night—from 11:30-6:00!  Too bad it was a result of my crying beforehand and not a trend.

On Saturday, I went with Mommy and Daddy to take Aunt Amy and Uncle David’s engagement pictures.  It was a nice day, and I liked being outside.  We went to the UC campus and Eden park.  It was lots of fun.

Afterwards, Uncle Dannel came to visit me.  He promised to teach me how to play football and even bought me a cute outfit with footballs on it.

Earlier in the week I went grocery shopping with Mommy.  She put me in my Moby wrap and all kinds of people kept coming up to her and asking if there was a baby in there!  One woman even asked Mommy if she was pregnant!  This town scares me…


Sleep: One sleep-through-the-night experience.  A couple 3 hours stretches, and lots of 1-2 hour blocks.
Eat: I’m doing a liiiitttle better with a bottle, so maybe somebody else can feed me so Mommy can get some sleep soon.
Play: Riding in my wrap. Reading books.  This week I’ve been reading 10 Little Fingers and 10 Little Toes.  I like it cause I get three little kisses on my nose at the end of the story!
Likes: Spending the day with Aunt Amy. Watching football with Daddy.
Dislikes: Stomach Acid!

Look! More cute pictures of me!

(Daddy does silly things to me.)

(Do you like my penguin hat?! Mommy got it for me.  She almost bought Daddy a matching one…)

(Bonding time with Aunt Amy and Uncle David.)

(Uncle Dannel came to visit!)

Tales From the Crib: Week 7

I’m too sexy for my shirt…and my pants, apparently.  Actually, I was so busy this week I didn’t even have time to get decent for my weekly picture.

I had my first overnight at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  Mommy and Daddy spontaneously decided on Friday to go down for the night.  I did so good that they decided to stay another night on Saturday.  This proved to be a big mistake, so I hope they learned their lesson.  They kept me so busy I had a little meltdown and only slept for 45 minute intervals Saturday night AND Sunday night AND Monday night.

I did get to meet Aunt Nancy, Uncle Chuck, and Aunt Barb, though.  They cuddled and played with me all night.  They even brought me a gift, with a fun bow!

I also went with Mommy and Daddy to get their hair cut, and I got a present there, too!  Everybody is sure nice to me and loves me lots!

On Sunday, Mommy and Daddy met some friends at Ikea.  I got to ride in my BabyBjorn and made it through the whole store like a champ.  Mommy and Daddy bought me all kinds of Christmas presents—they said I’ve been a good boy ALL year.

Earlier in the week, I went for walks in my stroller every day since the weather was so nice.  Mommy is only 7lbs away from her pre-Baby Matty weight, and Daddy thinks a trip to the beach this Summer might be in order—yay!  I also went thrift store shopping with Mommy one afternoon wrapped in my Moby wrap to find some old sweaters for craft projects.  I haven’t given her the time to get the projects done, but at least I went shopping with her!

I also got weighed this week and hit over 13lbs!  Mommy makes super milk—or maybe I just eat waaay too often.  Mommy said I should work on sleeping more instead of eating more.  That doesn’t really sound like fun, though.

While visiting Grandma and Grandpa, Mommy and Daddy went to the bookstore and bought me some new books.  This week, I’ve been reading one of the gifts from Daddy’s friend Kim, Five Little Monkeys, before bedtime.  Those silly monkeys…


Sleep: I had another 3 hours stretch one day…it was pretty much 1-2 hours outside of that.
Eat: I’m still waking up a lot at night to snack, but I’m spacing out better during the day.
Play: Reading. Making funny faces.
Likes: Being held.  Visits with new friends and family.
Dislikes: Gettin’ off my schedules, fools!

Look! More cute pictures of me!

(Daddy tried to walk me to sleep)

(Daddy taking my picture at 3am)

Tales From the Crib: Week 6

Happy Halloween, Everybody!

Another busy week at the Niehaus abode!

On Monday, we went to AA breastfeeding support group; I weighed in at over 12 lbs. and ate almost 3 ounces in about 15 minutes!  Num Num Num…Afterwards, I took my first trip to the mall!  It was a short trip, but I did really good and rode in my stroller like a good boy.

On Tuesday, Daddy came home early to wait for his new video game to come in the mail.  While he was waiting, he took me on a walk on campus.  We stopped in Mommy’s office to visit her coworkers.

On Thursday, we went to Brad and Mandy’s house for Trick or Treat.  Apparently, I  only got to help pass out candy and not actually  eat any of the candy…I misinterpreted that memo.

On Friday, Daddy flexed some time at work and stayed home with me to play.  We drove to Cincinnati so he and Mommy could drive some super-fast go-karts.  Daddy did really good with a 57 second lap time…Mommy did kind of good, too.  She was really courteous and pulled over to let the other karts pass—apparently motherhood has taken away some of her spunk.  Grandpa Dan filmed the whole thing while Grandma Lisa played in the car with me.

On Saturday, I took my first trip to the grocery store.  I rode in my BabyBjorn with Daddy; all of these nice ladies kept coming up and telling us how cute we were.


Sleep: Mommy tried to start a consistent bedtime routine.  The good news is that I get a fun story every night.  The bad news is that it’s not working.  I did have two blocks of 4 hours, but I woke up every hour or two all the other times.
Eat: Mommy started pumping milk so that Daddy can give me a bottle and get more sleep.  This plan also failed—anyone else seeing a pattern?  I’m still really hungry after my bottle and I miss Mommy so I cry and cry and cry until Daddy melts down and wakes her up. Sometimes if Mommy gets mad, Daddy takes me on a drive.  I also have some pretty bad reflux so I had some major spit-ups.  I thought they were silly—Daddy had a freak-out and woke Mommy up to clean it up. (He wakes Mommy up A LOT!)
Play: I’m starting to make more “happy sounds” as Mommy calls them.  I played in my swing for hours.  I also like reading stories.
Likes: Being held.  Sleeping on Mommy and Daddy’s chest.  Going outside.  Playing video games with Daddy.

Dislikes: Bottles.  Sleeping.  Congestion.

(One minute I’m happily asleep…)

(Then I’m viciously attacked…)

(Oh, yucky…(Mommy has since switched to breastmilk instead of saline drops, but still…))

(Then I scream bloody-murder.)

Look! More cute pictures of me!

Mommy says I don’t sleep, but here’s photographic proof:

Now for the rebuttal (these were taken at 3am):

(Who me? I don’t stay up all night.)

(Seriously. I don’t know what you’re talking about.)

(Ok. You caught me.)

(I’m embarrassed.)

(Whatcha gonna do about it?)

Tales From the Crib: Week 5

Howdy, everyone!  Happy to report we had a much better week around here.  I even had one 3 hour stretch of sleep (though I’m positive that I missed something fun!).  Daddy stayed up with me to play a few times so Mommy could sleep, but he tends to have a meltdown after 45 minutes or so then he wakes Mommy up…Mommy is quite exasperated.  I had another lunch date with Daddy, and Uncle Chris came to meet me.  I even wore my Stig shirt he bought me.  I also had a lunch date with Kathi and Aaron, Mommy’s friend from work and her husband.  I even got to see Grandma Lisa, Grandpa Dan, Aunt Amy, and Uncle David.  Grandma and Grandpa took me on a walk to meet some of the neighbors. Mommy and Daddy tried to sleep during this time, but apparently, Mommy has developed insomnia and can’t sleep.  She just needs me to snuggle her to sleep, right?!

Mommy is quite certain that I have some food allergies, so she’s on a strict elimination diet. We’re not sure if it’s just dairy or dairy and something else.  I have a rash on my face and chest, but it’s clearing up, and my tummy seems to not hurt so much.  Daddy had to take her to Whole Foods to find some food, though.  She thanked God for vegans—she bought some vegan cheese, dairy free chocolate cookies, and vegan lasagna to eat for lunch.  Hopefully this helps me feel better and helps Mommy not feel like she is starving!

I’m definitely not starving! I got weighed at breastfeeding class; I reached the 11lb. mark this week and started wearing some of my 3-6 month size jammies.  Watch out everyone, I’m turning into such a big boy!


Sleep: Getting better, but I still have night and day mixed up and I’m not consistent in my sleep.
Eat: Also getting better.  Eating about every 2-2.5 hours with a few feedings closer together in the evening when I’m sleepy.
Play: I’ve been playing in my swing this week (thanks, Aunt Kristin and Uncle Jason!).  Sometimes I like to stay there for 45 minutes and sometimes I only like it for 5 minutes.
Likes: Mommy’s healthy diet.  Spitting up.  Going outside. Looking out the window to watch raindrops.
Dislikes: Cold weather.  Getting boogers sucked out of my nose.

Look! More cute pictures of me!

(lunch with Daddy and Chris)

(One of my Top Gear shirts)

(Yes, my sweatervest is awesome. Thanks for noticing.)

(Quality time with Auntie Amy and Uncle David)