Archives for July 2012

A Letter, or Plea

Dear Mother,

Please stop reading more teenage vampire novels (a novel? Really? Hardly worthy of word.) I’d like to go to the park, play blocks, or eat bits of food I find on the floor. Ok, Ok.  I could do that last one all by myself, but it’s more fun when you chase after me yelling obscenities no, no, no.


Your Ignored Child


P.S. Father, where are you?  I’ve barely seen you all week, and even then you were passed out on the couch.  You haven’t taken me on a walk at all.

P.P.S. Grandma? Are you reading this? Do you still care? Can you take me to the park? Can we stop at City Hall on the way so I can file a formal complaint with Child Protective Services?

Tales From the Crib: Week 43

Hickory Dickory Dock
I cannot beat the clock
This post is late
I made you wait
But here’s some pictures that rock


Daddy’s still being the Grillmeister, and we get to eat outside.  Though I suspect this is because SOMEONE is a messy eater…Dad!

Hey, hey.  WHAT’S THIS? I’m so telling Mommy on you.

Kitty is still here.  He likes to sleep in my house:

And play with my water table:

He even chases away intruders.

Although Mommy says if he gets sprayed he’s not allowed to stay at our house anymore.  Way to show compassion and gratitude, Mom.

Munchkin Meals: Join Up Fun

I came across Brittany’s blog, A Healthy Slice of Life, about a month ago (I think I was looking for baby sleep schedules, of course).  Her little one, Hailey, is just a few weeks older than Matty, so it’s nice to see what other kids his age are up to, even if it’s just on the internet.  She’s also doing BLW with Hailey, so she often posts about how that’s going and what she is eating.  Brittany had the idea over the past couple of weeks that EVERYONE should blog about what their kids are eating, then link up so that we all get a bunch of ideas of what to feed our kiddos.  Count me in!  This week’s focus is on lunch, so let’s take a peek at Matty’s lunch on Monday, shall we?

  • Homemade Spaghetti-o’s (pasta & jarred, organic tomato-basil sauce)–Good for Mom, too!
  • Scrambled Egg (just egg, no milk)
  • Steamed Broccoli (drizzled with olive oil)
  • Boiled Carrot (boiled w/pasta for super-easiness, also drizzled in olive oil)

He loves spaghetti, so I thought he’d love the Spaghetti-o’s since he could pick them up easier, but he was just luke-warm about them.  He had the leftovers the next day and seemed to enjoy them more.  We’re working on eating cooked carrots–yes, he enjoys RAW carrots.  This was fine when he had no teeth, and okay when he only had top teeth, but now that he can bite, I’m a bit wary of the little pieces he can bite off.

And because I’m always curious about how much other kids actually EAT, he ate about half the egg, just a few bites/fistfuls of the spaghetti-o’s, 1 bite of the carrot, and most of the broccoli.

And because no post is complete without a picture of the cutie…

Please ignore the horrible pictures; I found a rogue fingerprint on my lens after reviewing these pics–you’ll only need one guess to figure out who put that there…

Tales From the Crib: Week 42

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!  (Yeah, yeah. I’m  a little late on that one, too.)

The U.S. is 236 years old.  That’s so old.  That’s older than even Grandpa.  And apparently we celebrate life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness by grilling out and setting things on fire and watching them explode.  Life is so hard to understand sometimes.  Since Daddy had to work (of course he did) and I felt a little skittish about watching things explode, we chose to celebrate with a more family-friendly option–the St. Joe’s Festival in Wapak.  We were going to go earlier to watch the parade, but umm..get this, Daddy was LATE! Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?

(I can’t believe you made us miss the parade, Dad!)

First, we went to the kid’s games. Ducks! Ducks! They had ducks! Duccccckkkkies!

I LOVE ducks. Did you know that? I do.  They’re my favorite.  I have lots of rubber duckies at home, so Mommy wouldn’t let me get another one.  So I had to put the duck back and I got a bucket and shovel instead.  Unfair trade, Mom. Unfair trade.

Then, we played piggy races.

Look at my face, THAT is how I felt about the pig races.  Mommy and Daddy thought it was great fun, though.

Mommy’s piggy even won!  She got me a jar of bubbles for being a good sport.

After that, Mommy got a sno-cone and we headed home.  It was 103 degrees.  Need I say more?  Mommy was going to share her sno-cone with me, but I didn’t want any. I said, “Come on, Mom. It’s got Red 40.  I can’t believe you’re eating that crapt.”  She felt ashamed.

On the way home, we saw this.

Yes, that’s a flatbed truck with fire hydrants.  Nothing special…move along, people.  Apparently, it is special though. Because my parents, you know, those people who are entrusted with my life and development, decided to get off the highway, circle through a town, get back on the highway, and speed up just to get a picture of this.  Apparently I made a mistake and checked the “Weirdo” box when signing up for parental units.

Speaking of weirdos…

I really wish I could blame this monstrosity of a toy on Daddy, but alas, it was Mommy.  Maybe this is what happens when sleep-deprived Mommies are left alone to wander Menards’ Clearance section on Saturday afternoons.  I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad, but here’s what happened:

1. It was still 100 freakin’ degrees outside.
2. Daddy blew it up with the airhose, which scared the bejeezus out of me.
3. Daddy filled it up with the hose…then plopped me in it.
4. I began screaming bloody-murder because it was frickin’ freezing, and Daddy didn’t know what was wrong, so he stood there waiting on Mommy to come back outside before anyone got me out of the frigid water.  And where was Mommy during all this? In the house getting buckets of warm water.  At least one of my parental units understands child welfare, but lack of communication guys, lack of communication.
5. It’s got a sprinkler in the back, and Daddy turned it ALL THE WAY UP, drenching me with arctic droplets (and scaring the bejeezus out of me).

I’m sure it will be pretty fun once I warm up to it (hehe), especially since it came with inflatable swords and shields.  Apparently it gets to come inside this winter and get filled with balls.

Anybody want to come play Arctic Castle Knights in 100 Degree Weather with me?  Weirdo, parents.

Tales From the Crib: Week 41

Yeah…I know, I know. I’m still a week behind.  We had such a busy week this week though, that I didn’t have time to blog.

First, we took my books back to the library. And I got to play puzzles.  And I played with some big kids. I tried to hold his hand when as he was leaving, but Mommy said I had to stay with her.

Then, Mommy and me went shoe shopping.  Apparently that is now delegated to Daddy, as Mommy said she will NEVER go through that again.  I can’t imagine why.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact Mommy took me to a store with really long aisles, and when she was trying to put the shoes on, I got distracted and crawled under the racks, and since the aisles were long Mommy got to me just as I was going under the next rack.  Good times.  Oh, and I also realized that shopping carts are just oversized walkers, so I pushed it around.  How was I supposed to know that it wasn’t actually our cart?  And I might have knocked some stuff over. Whatever.

Mommy must not have been too mad because then she took me to the park! And this was like the motherload of all parks.  There was a lake where we could rent paddleboats, which we didn’t.  Something about her having to do all the paddling, yadda yadda blah blah.

There was a huge pool with a splash area for little kids, which we didn’t go to because we didn’t have swimsuits. Minor detail, Mom. Minor detail.

We also played on one of three playgrounds and took a walk around the nature trail.  Our goal was to feed the ducks, since it was on our Summer To-Do List, but we did one better…we got HISSED at by geese.  Did you know they did that? We didn’t.  Then, get this, this is the best part, some old lady chased them away!  She was whacking them with her cane and yelling at the geese so we could get through.  Mommy was sneaky and took a picture.  I don’t know about your duck-feeding experience, but I count this as a win in my book.

I also went to Kat’s baseball game.  She’s only 6 and she already plays coach pitch! And she hit the ball. She’s an all star.  Mommy took me in my push-car, and I was hot stuff, and I know it.  All the Mommies were checking me out.  Unfortunately, all the kids were, too, and I ended up sharing.  I got pushed down. By a 4 year old.  Mommy told me to work it out.  Thanks, Mom.  Glad I can count on you to keep me safe.

It started getting REALLY hot towards the end of the week, so Mommy broke down and bought me a new water toy.  She had plans to DIY one, but hahahahhaha. OH, Mom. Like you have time for that.  So we went to Babies R Us and lucky for us, all the Summer stuff is already on Clearance.  Unlucky for us, the water table we chose came in like 47 billion pieces that required two people to put together (and apparently I was no help).  Mommy persevered and got it together.  Then she filled it up with the hose. Oh, a hose. Wow.  Hoses are so fun. They spray water. And they’re wet. And it kept me cool.  So. Much. Fun. that hose was. Oh…wait…what water table?

On Friday, it was SOOOO HOT so we tried out a new park—Faurot Park here in Lima.  They have a splash area for kids, but it was just ok.  A little girl dumped water on my head, and I was not okay with that (do you see the pattern here? I don’t think I’ll be going back to the park anytime soon).  Her Mommy yelled at her and drug her to the car—poor kid, I didn’t die and I’m sure in her little-girl brain it made since. Maybe she was flirting. I hear girls do weird stuff when they’re in love.

The heat wave brought in a really bad storm, and we barely made it home in time.  We had 80mph winds and most of the town was without power.  Lucky for us we only lost power for a few hours, but we lost cable and internet for a few days (poor Daddy).  Mommy and me watched the neighbors shingles blow off in sheets and the other neighbor’s tree fall down, but we were so lucky to have no damage.  Uncle Scott and Aunt Shannon came over to cook out and we partied until like midnight (yes, we—SPOILER ALERT—this lack of sleep continued into the next week, too!).

I think that about covers all our fun this week!  How did everyone else do with the storms?  Anyone want to come play with my water table hose?  Anybody want to come protect me at the park?

Tales From the Crib: Week 40

Whoops. We forgot to take my picture AGAIN.  That’s ok. I didn’t feel like having my picture taken anyway.  Why, you ask? Well, the good news is I now have FOUR teeth (all on the bottom…)! The bad news is, I now have four teeth. Blah. These two came in with textbook symptoms—drooling, runny nose, diarrhea (which led to horrible diaper rash), fussiness, lack of sleep (as if anyone needed THAT!), etc. etc. etc…

I did manage to have a little fun, though.  On Monday, Mommy and Daddy decided to let me play with the TV for the first time.  My keyboard also has video games for me to play.


It. Was. So. Dumb. Not only do I have better things to do than sit in front of a TV, but the “interactive games” were so dumb. Just dumb. I don’t even have words to describe it.  So then Mommy and Daddy broke out the big guns, and we played Dance Dance Revolution.  THAT was much more fun!  Especially since Mommy and Daddy aren’t the most coordinated people around…

(Ahh, Dad. It was ‘left, left, RIGHT’)

We also got a rainy day, so Daddy thought it would be fun to go play outside. In a torrential downpour.  I worry about him sometimes.

Daddy had to go to work in Cincinnati this week, so I got to go visiting! I visited Grandma and Grandpa, and Aunt Amy and Uncle David came to see me, too.  They brought their ferrets for Grandma to babysit while they went on vacation, and I thought they were so funny.  I also had lunch with Mimi.  We went to Chick-fil-a and then played at the playground. I also went to swimmy class and went swimmy in a big outside pool.  It was hot!

Then we rushed home to get the house cleaned because we had a party on Friday night!  Uncle Scott and Aunt Shannon are getting married, so we had an engagement shindig for them.  Daddy finally broke down and bought a grill—a charcoal one, which means Mommy won the 5 year debate on charcoal vs. gas—and let me tell you, he’s a grillmaster. We, I mean Daddy, has been cooking out almost every night cause he’s so good at it.  Mommy enjoys having the break from cooking, too! Anyway, we had some people over to celebrate, and Mommy was going to let me stay up late, but of course, I fell asleep at like 8. Baby Epic Fail.  We had a party crasher, though!

Yep, we have a new kitty.  The last stray kitty was great, but this one is even better.  Maybe if we live here long enough, we’ll get a stray unicorn that shits crapts poops rainbows show up at our house.  A baby can dream, no?